Buckle up for “Impact 2020 Vision”


In the next few days, I’m going to share a lot about the next few years. I’ve already stated that we’ll be teaming with #Teachable for upcoming online #ImpactActual instruction … here’s what we’ll be instructing:

All human life is about strength … strength of Body, of Mind, of Heart, and of Soul. Anything less is incomplete. Authentic strength has three levels, just like the old crawl, walk, run: To Grow Strong (develop), Live Strong (maintain), and Give Strong (contribute). You can’t keep what you ain’t made part of your life, and you can’t give what you ain’t got.




In 2017 we’re going to help you Grow Strong like never before, in all Aspects you need to improve. 2018 will be dedicated to Living Strong, making these changes an unbreakable pattern for life. In 2019 all participants are going to Give in ways none of us can yet fathom.

And as we team, you’re going to design your unique #GrowLiveGive trajectory for yourself, just like I will for me.

By 2020, my Vision is that #Impact lives are going to fly. Will you complete a degree and be in your dream job? Will you be competing in a sport and performing beyond your own belief? Will you have prepared yourself to walk away from 40-hour weeks and devote your life to travel, your family, or a social cause you burn for?

It’s all up to you.

#Impact #ChooseWell

Rob’s list of rules to live by

A few years back, my friend Kerry asked me to offer my idea of good rules for life. I sent this and forgot about it! He just sent it back. Here it is again:

I expect your list will be different from mine; these are the things that have proven most important to me:

1)      Love. And remember to tell people you love them when you have the chance.  I never got the chance to tell some of the most important people in my life goodbye, and it haunts me every day.

2)      Take care of people. You will always get what you deserve, eventually, so you’re creating your future, and building a better future for the most important people in your life.

Stand up for the people you care about, particularly when they aren’t around. Listening to someone trash talk the people you care about makes you as bad as doing the talking yourself.  Taking care of people often means standing up for people who can’t stand up for themselves. Sometimes it means standing up for total strangers.

3)   Some fruits of choice take years to mature.

Don’t give up just because it’s hard. The stuff that seems hard at first almost never seems that hard with a little practice. You figure out a smarter way to do something. You toughen up. It pays off down the road. One of the things you’ll notice is the better you get at dealing with tough challenges, the fewer the number of real competitors you will have to deal with.

4)   Be good to people.

It costs you nothing to be nice. Quite often you will find that being nice, and treating the people you encounter who can do nothing for you with respect, can reward you in ways you never imagined. Often people who may appear downtrodden or powerless can be valuable sources of insight and information that can save you from frustration and heartache, and steer you away from  making a catastrophically bad decision.

5)   Be good to yourself!

You are worth taking care of! Never forget it. Don’t waste time tearing yourself down. Learn from your mistakes, and move on as best you can. People can lose years of their lives dwelling on regrets, or replaying some nasty thing that somebody said to them. Sometimes you just need to shake off the bad stuff, chalk it up to experience, turn loose of the anger and desire for revenge and focus on the good stuff. Here’s a little secret: the only person that gets hurt by resentment is the person who’s resenting. The person you’re mad at could care less! But if you’re resenting him, you don’t have time and space in your life for the things that really make you happy. And being good to yourself can be as simple as taking an extra five seconds to tie your shoes and catch your breath.

6)   Be honest:

The author Mark Twain once observed that if you tell the truth you won’t have to remember what you said. In your encounters with other people, it helps everyone to be honest and clear about:

a. What you like.

b. What you are.

c. What others are like.

7)   Trust as much as you can and always understand that some people will let you down.

a. Trust anyway.

b. With those who do you wrong, keep trusting them…just trust that they may do it again.

8)   Enjoy the art you enjoy.

It is okay to like stuff that only you like. In fact, it’s great. It means you have some sense of who you are, and that helps you be useful to others. Sometimes art in one form or another can have special meaning for you because of your personal experience. That’s good. Honor that part of who you are and explore it. Explore different art forms from painting, drawing, dancing, acting, photography… Go through multiple generations of thought to explore a subject until you understand it. Keep adding new interests as you go along and you will stay fresh and alive.

9)   Let music into your life.

There are at least a thousand different kinds of music in the world. And you can create your own. Art and music can add a richness to your life that isn’t available to you any other way. In fact, one famous philosopher said that, “The only truth  is music.”

10)   Take a little time every day for yourself.

Clear out your mind once a day—checking in with what is going on with you makes you better for others, too. It is okay to nurture yourself by setting a couple a minutes aside (20 minutes is ideal) every day to check in with yourself to keep your life in balance. You can lose years of your life in confusion and distraction, if you are always only focused on what other people want. This is the best way to avoid wandering away from your goals and to clear up your perspective.

11)   We are alive to give to others.

a. We were each made with a unique purpose. Keep searching for what yours is (and only you can decide).

b. We were intended to live out what we love. You will find you will be a lot happier, more committed and focused in your life if your actions are the things you love and are important to you. I know it can be tough to be young and get pressure from others to be just like they are…but if you take smart steps to live and express who you feel you are, it always earns respect in the end.

Here’s what happened November 8th

​I know a lot of people are hurting, all over the country. And I mean since BEFORE the election. It’s not the individual fault of anyone that things are so messed up, but it is *collectively* our fault.

We, the people, have popularized division, and conflict, as entertainment. We’ve lost the sense of perspective that Jerry Springer is just a show, not a way to live.
Even very close personal friends of mine, Trump voters, overwhelmingly declare that “there’s no way I would have voted for Clinton.” Nobody overtly claims support for Trump’s demands that we keep out the Muslims, or his absurd promises like forcing other world leaders to pay for border walls, or his lustful enthusiasm for shoving his little hands into the crotches of unsuspecting (and presumably unwilling) married celebrity hotties just because he’s powerful and can get away with it.
(Here’s a quick aside, for all of the Trump supporters who eagerly seized on the narrative that he was just doing boy talk, or “vulgar language.” You perpetuated a lie. That isn’t vulgar talk. Vulgar talk is when Clinton and Trump supporters say Fuck You to each other. Or when I say, This Whole Campaign Was Bullshit. No, what Trump said is called a crime. It’s “sexual assault and battery.” Look it up.)
So through historically unprecedented universal access to media (and its dependence on spectacle to sell advertising) we see hate and discontent all around us. We assume it’s They who are the problem. The reality is, “They” are just reacting to and fearing and suspecting Us in the exact same way. And through historically unprecedented universal access to instant communications, we are telling each other these exaggerated stories with personally injected exaggeration skewing farther and farther from the truth. It’s the ideal self-destruction system.
No, The Blacks And Foreigners are not out to get White Jobs. No, The Men aren’t out to rape the women. No, The Cops aren’t out to kill black men. And no, The Muslims are not out to “get” everyone else. But if you take “The News” at face value, you can believe these and a million other lies. The News is, without one exception on earth, a machine for distributing information TAILORED to suit the agenda of its owners and its advertisers.
The News must always be designed to highlight pieces of, but NEVER the whole of, the truth. If the whole truth were shared, the business would fail in its fiduciary responsibility to keep up ratings. Are all of those evils I listed above happening, here and there in isolated situations? Yes. So let’s highlight those pieces of the truth and people will stay tuned and buy our soap.
I wrote about all of this in Powerful Peace, four years ago.
So the tragic irony is that “We” collectively are guilty of creating the suspicion and hate that “he” capitalized on to get elected. Donald Trump is one of the most famously successful, self promoting, opportunistic, pain-inducing (“Ya fired!”) performers in the media today. In a healthy society he would have been laughed out of the campaign. But in a society that’s killing itself with fear and hate, he found the perfect opportunity for the ultimate self-promotion.
Do I wish for him to fail? Hell, no. I pray for his success, for wisdom, and rational thought, and a willingness to hear his worthy advisers like Mike Flynn and Ben Carson. Because Donald Trump has grabbed my country by the pussy for the next four years, and I pray for the world he will not do anything particularly stupid.

Why I Needed to Discover MovNat®…and You Do, Too

When I first heard the concept of the practice of “Natural Movement” as a training program, I was intrigued because I’ve always been a bit of a wild child. What Navy SEAL isn’t? And it’s true that I am basically a product of the forest of Upstate New York. I spent much of my youth and young adulthood off in the woods and on the rivers of the Adirondack Mountains, generally disinterested in the angsty song-and-dance of my typically sociable adolescent peers. And add to that the fact that Rob DuBois loosely translates as Rob “…of the woods.”movnat

I happened to have the great fortune of meeting and becoming friends with MovNat founder Erwan Le Corre and his lovely wife, Jessika. That led to my registering for a long weekend of learning and certifying to instruct this total-lifestyle approach to being fit in body and mind. (By the way, I was taught by Erwan’s master instructor, who is now my new friend and fellow former Navy SEAL, Eric Brown…noticing a trend here?) Today, several weeks after that introductory experience, I find myself “doing” MovNat constantly. I apply the principles when I’m walking down the street, hopping down off that final stair, or just rising out of my seat.

You may wonder, like I did: how can I possibly need to “study” what’s supposed to come naturally? The answer is simple: today’s movement, by most adults, is not natural at all. We first begin to move unnaturally as soon as the cool kids demonstrate how to slouch to be especially cool, or the sergeant tells us to stick out that chest, or we first become self-conscious about how the newly-appealing opposite sex will admire our manly (or girly) walk.

The average U.S. citizen retains only a fraction of his potential mobility, strength and elasticity, because we simply don’t use it like we ought to. You know what they say happens when you don’t “use it,” right? We sit in our desks on our perpendicular chairs, we never flex to the floor, we rarely jump, and the list goes on. Climb trees? One in a hundred “grownups” will do that this year.

And those restricted or misaligned (or restricted and misaligned!) habitual activities in daily life have creeping consequences, too. Most people understand that if a part of your body hurts, you will unconsciously adapt throughout your frame and create another problem point to hurt later on.

But understanding something, and doing something about it, are two different things.

Erwan climbing
Erwan Le Corre Climbing

Ordinary exercise routines tend to be overly focused on isolated movement for a particular effect. It may be that singular contraction of the biceps in pull-ups to build strength. But what if you instead invested the same energy as part of a flow of natural movement, and developed balance, grace, and life-changing skills and confidence along with your strength? Jumping to a branch, pulling up and over, and flowing into a climb adds real benefit to the old up-and-down. Don’t believe me? You will the next time a big angry dog appears out of nowhere.


Because I’m so accustomed to that traditional style of hyper-focused exercises, I’ll admit that those four days with Eric and the class kicked my tail. I’m in pretty good shape and very strong, but I seemed to discover at least two underdeveloped muscle groups for every one I felt comfortable with!

In the SEAL Teams we say that “pain is weakness leaving your body.” Apparently a lot of weakness left my body that weekend.

If you maintain an exercise regimen in which you focus on some muscle groups and inadvertently neglect others, you can end up pretty fit for ordinary purposes. But changing the emphasis to naturally aligned, whole-body movement has unique long-term benefits. To use the whole thing is to simultaneously benefit your whole body, connective tissues, joints, and all. And that is the very spirit of preventive living. Take heed, fellow over-50’s.

And here’s the best part of the whole thing, for me: MovNat is a worldwide playground. We just don’t play enough. Some of us don’t play at all. Running, jumping, climbing, crawling, throwing—these things tend to occur in the lives of average adults as infrequent inconveniences when the bus is leaving early or we unexpectedly encounter a missing manhole cover. What if you could play on purpose as a regular part of your lifestyle, have fun with interesting people, and get crazy fit in the process?

You can.

It took a lot to make me #NeverTrump. A lot. Here’s what happened:

The essay #FixingIntel was a brilliant and ballsy strike by General Mike Flynn (@GenFlynn) on critical improvements to our outdated intelligence system, but it didn’t mean the U.S. Intel system “doesn’t work” or “can’t be trusted.”

Trump this week: “Not so much [I don’t trust] from the people that have been doing it for our country. And, in fact, I won’t use some of the people that are sort of your standards, you know.”

Trump’s self-seeking, headline-lusting, shock jock reality TV screaming ignorance about this most vital protective force will serve as a force multiplier for ISIL and other enemy Information Operations worldwide. It will weaken us against terrorists, against Putin (the cunning, stalking lion Trump childishly believes “likes me”), and against every other named or yet-veiled enemy.

I’ve heard a lot of stupid things from Trump this year–a LOT–but this little I-Don’t-Know-Jack-Shit-About-Protecting-My-Country-But-At-Least-I’m-Loud gem is a literal aid and abet to those who seek to divide and conquer this nation. It undermines American confidence in its protectors, and reinforces international bias against the U.S. to weaken us among allies.

Trump wants to win ONLY because that’s what little boys do, I’m now convinced–not because he wants to SERVE me and my family. I now believe his “service” would harm us in the life-and-death complexities of global security that utterly escape him. He will do far more good by withdrawing.

I’ve never publicly opposed or endorsed a candidate in my life. I’ve always demanded impartiality of myself to try and improve the debate itself in our democratic process, not aligning with some “side.” But silence now would be a moral offense against my people. Here it is: my first #NeverTrump.



Rob Gets Raw

​Transparency time: my shares are getting more and more raw. That’s because they reflect my own journey and priorities in real time–especially recently–and my own journey is exactly like yours in that I discover things for the first time, I screw up, etc.

I work with coaching clients and retreat groups and teams, and people continually comment on “what Rob is doing” to help them make amazing changes for themselves…as compared to what my company does. I’ve tried hard to build Impact Actual as my professional face, to do it that “right” way, but it always comes back to this personal relationship dynamic.

So why fight reality? If I were my own client I’d say #FlowOn with it. Whatever It turns out to be. We aren’t folding the company, of course, but from now on you’ll get a lot more of plain me. That’s all I really know how to give.

And that means you’re going to see words like “bullshit,” when I believe something is bullshit. I never seek to offend, but it’s impossible to be authentic in this world and not offend somebody. So if you don’t like what I share or teach, please–feel free to part from me with the Unlike or Unfollow or whatever route you choose. I won’t be offended. I would only be offended by my own choice to not be authentic.

We’re going to be retooling all the online presence stuff to reflect this more real reality, but don’t worry…you’ll still be able to find me through www.ImpactActual.com

The dark and stupid side of pervasive, instantaneous communication

For all its good, universal social media access has transformed the dynamic of mob mentality and splashed that poison across the hemispheres.

Reginald Denny after having his skull smashed by a cinder block

Historically, mob mentality was limited to local, physical gatherings of human beings who lose their collective shit because of high emotions and inflammatory rhetoric.

Today, my my articulate and broad-minded friend Piper Bayard receives death threats from cowardly worms for criticizing a presidential candidate. This one’s for all you cowardly worms:

If you choose to threaten a woman’s life, you’re a pussy.

You’re no different than the animals who ganged up and tried to beat Reginald Denny to death during the Rodney King riots. Correction–you are different: you’re a bigger coward than they were. At least those maniacs could point to the orgy of rage at perceived injustice as a factor in their insanity of mob mentality.

You, on the other hand, sit on your fat ass in your comfortable office or kitchen or basement and eagerly suck down all the mob mentality fumes through social media. You wail and moan and spread the irrational rhetoric about the “other side” being hell-bent on destroying our shared home of nation or planet.

And you threaten women.

Cowardly worms, the best you can do is use the brain God gave you. Really, critically think about what’s going on and your honest, individual opinion about it. Recognize that calculated private interests are playing you and gaining by your playing the fool. Don’t just indulge in the fun of stupid. You’re destroying MY country. I take that threat very seriously.

And if in the end you remain dead set against using your brain, at least do something useful and donate that unused organ to scientific research. Maybe we can isolate a recessive Useful Idiot gene and work to eradicate stupid. Fear not; after your brain is removed you will still be treated very humanely. We’ll put you in the monkey house and watch you throw poo. You should feel right at home.

On grrl power and unmanly men

[This was shared at our @ImpactActual accounts earlier today]:

A non-PC public service announcement from the founder of Impact Actual on the issue of grrl power and unmanly men:

Ladies, please stop settling for manchilds. Guys, stop being them. Males will always rise OR FALL to the level demanded of them. It’s part of our makeup. Knowing that with their smaller stature they can’t rely on brute strength alone, females get mature and stay more or less sensible from an early age. We, on the other hand, usually respond to the needs of the environment because we love to leap into action and make heroic gestures…but don’t care much for the discipline of day-to-day maintenance.

Exhibit A: According to ABC News, an estimated 200,000 underage volunteers “ran” to enlist during World War II. (Fun fact: Gene Hackman was one of those. Thank him if you see him.)

Exhibit B: the CDC this year released findings that “Obesity now affects 1 in 6 children and adolescents in the United States” (a period during which we have no pressing national peril calling all young men to rise).

Contemporary ease and comfort has a subtle dark side. Untested, we don’t realize our potential. The current trend of ladies thinking they have to settle for soft males weakens the entire pool…thus making things worse for males who don’t challenge themselves AND for all the women looking for real men. We all lose when we passively conspire to passivity.

Do I mean all guys should be belching, sweat stained neanderthals? Get real. True strength has nothing to do with biceps. It sits watching vigilantly in the mind, and burns in the heart. We must have door kickers, yes — and we also must have friendly grocers and gentle poets and quirky professors. If he has strength, you’ll see it in his eyes…not his physique.

Here’s the good news, guys: it’s your birthright. You don’t have to go somewhere or take a course and “get strong”…it’s sitting inside you right now and has always been there. You just have to seize it. You were born to protect. Now live it.

And if you look in a man’s eyes and see strength, say something. If you’re his partner, admire him a little for it. Tell him, and thank him for making you feel safe. Nothing else so inspires the hero’s heart.


On the Orlando massacre


Been listening, and considering my response all day.

I was called an LGBT Ally for my writing on dignity and respect before I knew what LGBT was. I don’t give a shit who you love. That’s your business, and I appreciate people staying out of mine.

What I do care about is security and the general well-being. For much of my career I lived among populations where going out after dark invites rape, kidnapping, or murder. Where families do NOT lie down at night in confidence they’ll be safe until the morning.

Where “I got lucky at the club” meant escaping a massacre, not “getting laid”….

In my years abroad I’ve tried hard to help those societies become more like ours in the domain of security. Now, however, we see an instance of ours becoming like “theirs.” And that’s precisely what the hate-driven followers of jihad want. They believe violence is the path to power, and they do want power. Don’t be fooled by talk of God. They want fear, because fear is the easy way to influence. They want to use fear because inside they’re twisted, squirming, fearful, impotent little worms. They have nothing legitimate to use. They depend on “terrorizing” victims of their power grab, and so we call them terrorists.

Want to know how we can help them? By calling gays fags. Or blacks niggers. Or whites crackers. If there was any doubt in your mind that all of our society is in the crosshairs of these fearful little impotent worms, I hope last night woke your ass up. 

DIVISION is the best thing we  can practice to help jihadis spread their spectacle and build toward the attainment of actual power. You’re free to keep celebrating it, if you like. Keep putting advertising dollars into the TV talk shows where guests’ fists fly and the host pretends to try and stop the fight while he mentally converts ratings to profits. Keep calling the “other side” traitors, and idiots, and whatever inaccurate small insults you can dream up to avoid confronting and discussing the real issues like real adults.

As long as we do what the jihadis want and divide among ourselves, we’re guaranteed to not invest our material and mental capital into legitimate, practical solutions to problems we all see. What we don’t see is that we’re part of the problem when we don’t focus on the fixes. Here’s a spoiler: the fixes do not involve banning all Muslims OR all guns. We’re morons for entertaining either notion.

You’ll have to try to forget that our country has the word “United” right there in its name. We could talk to each other with civility, and disagree with respect. We could each sacrifice a little of what we want in service to what We Need. We could work toward actual national security without exaggerations of policy that work against our national safety. But I wonder when we will.

Urgent call to join us — #ImpactOutdoors begins one month from today


Seriously — you NEED to be with us in Northern Virginia for three days of #ImpactOutdoors beginning ONE MONTH FROM TODAY. Below is the outline again, but bottom line up front: you only have to drop a $47 refundable deposit to hold your space (in one of these renovated sleeping cabins). And EVERYTHING — food, lodging, program, materials — is included, for just a total of $397. Read to the bottom for instructions.
Here’s the outline for our June #ImpactOutside weekend. Join us for three days of fun, intense, transformative work on self–SO THAT you can work better on the world around you:

-> Private growth retreat with facilitation by Rob DuBois and guest experts in group and solitary activities, including Rob-led physical training–At Your Pace
-> Additional guided breakout sessions to let you dive deeper into Body, Mind, Heart, and Soul
-> Meditative walks, prompted journaling, and other structured exercises
-> Dialogue with #GoWild alumni on your what’s-next…voices of experience for leveraging these few days for many years to come
-> Exclusive membership as the First Class in the brand-new #ImpactOutside community
-> Personalized event-only copy of “Powerful Peace; A Navy SEAL’s Lesson on Peace from a Lifetime at War”

-> Noon Friday – noon Sunday, June 17-19

-> Northern Virginia (near Quantico)
-> Private campground
-> Historic cabins (tenting optional for the ruggedly inclined!)

-> All meals in dining hall included
-> Special event rate at DC National Airport hotel for night of June 16
-> Shuttle from airport hotel to event at noon Friday, June 17
-> Shuttle service back to DC airport at noon Sunday,  June 19
-> Deposit $47, unconditionally refundable until May 24
-> Total price, including all above, $397
-> Register with a friend, and save $50 apiece!

Participation will be limited. This event is the first-ever evolved version of last year’s SEAL of Peace #GoWild weekend–which participants praised as giving them critical personal insights and valuable course corrections for their futures.

We’re still knee-deep in the technical conversion of SEALofPeace to ImpactActual online, so the official registration page is still a day or two away, but we don’t want any eager prospects to miss out on securing a place.

If that sounds like you, just email Info@SEALofPeace.com. We’ll email back an invoice for the $47 fully-refundable deposit, and you can guarantee your seat on the ride to growing your #Impact.